Came back from sch quite early today, but didn't step through the door. Saw the windows still open, so i figured probably my mom is still home. I kinda prefer to be alone when i'm back home, for a particular reason. Usually I would have juz step through the door, but today i'm abit tired to get home. So ended up wandering around my area alone, without any aim.
Was headed for Liang's Court. Along the way, passed through Subordinate Court and Juvenile Court. Saw an art figurine erected outside the juvenile court that portrays a family. I thought it's kinda lame. The cold, stone piece of "art" couldn't really portray family warmth, esp when it's placed outside a Juvenile Court.
Then bypassed MOM and reached boat quay. Walked thru the shophouses by the river. The scenery is good, and it's strange how gentle wind always visit the riverside, amongst scenery. I thought I'll walk by Futures, Zouk or some popular clubs that people around my age goes. Might be good to know their exact location, even if i don't go clubbing. Well, I didn't really find them in the end. So juz headed on to Liang's Court.
I noticed alot of Japanese products sold at Liang's Court. Last time I went, there was some heavy renovations. Now most of the stuffs are up and running, but the lack of crowd makes one wonder if the storeowners there actually have to do money laundering to earn a living. Anyway, I was looking for somewhere that sells European Boardgames cheaply there, which I heard from my ex-colleague. Strangely, I don't find it there. So I had to return empty-handed.
On the way back, I thought I'll take a walk pass OneSeven, a gay spa that a friend told me about damn long ago. The last time i walked by with my friend many years ago, we were like spotting some really bo liao people sitting across the road, commenting and laughing away as they watch some guys goes in and out of the spa centre at night. I thought it's kinda annoying that there are such discriminating people around in the world. Yet, it's equally saddening that these gays actually frequent these spas, largely in mind of looking for a one-night stand... or at least, that's the story I heard about of these gay spas from Internet and some gay friends. Anyway, I did see a guy walking out of the door. The outside doesn't even catch the eyes. Bored, I went over to the opposite street where there's a SAFRA branch.
The outside looks somewhat more interesting, with posters of some WOW competitions and stuffs. I didn't go in either. Doesn't look like anyone goes there, since it's so deserted. With that, I walked further down to Chinatown Point, bought a cup of The Ultimate ice-blended mocha from the CoffeeBean there (which I've been resisting to get, since i saw a frap equivalent at Starbucks earlier at Liang's Court). That concludes me wandering around today, and it took only slightly more than an hr, which I assume any Dragon year ppl would chastize me wasting so much time that could be used for studying.
Sometimes, I kinda wish I'm juz like everyone else, and stop thinking too much. Be more easily pleased by being around the opposite sexes, or go shopping, go clubbing, craptalks, etc. At least, most of my peers seems to be enjoying these. But I guess I don't fit very well into all these. I'm more likely to drown myself out in music and philosophizing, like what I'm doing now. Trying to find some meanings for what I'm doing now.
Shrug. I think I'm starting to sound like I'm going through some mid-life crisis, which i'm trying to avoid in this blog. Think will stop here.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Forbidden Love vs. Ever-changing Love
A couple of things goes through my mind today. What's worse? Forever waiting for a chance at forbidden love, or an entire lifetime of changing love partners?
I'm more of a victim of the former, so I know what it's like. Not intending to delve into my personal relationship stories, but it sometimes got me thinking about it, when i keep hearing stories from media/friends/etc about them having broke up with their bf/gf, or them into a new relationship again. The latter tends to have their cycle repeated again and again, until they are fortunately/unfortunately married, or they totally "give up" on relationships altogether when they are finally too old and ugly to fall in love at cup noodles speed.
Sometimes, I feel that it's so unfair that people can keep trying to find their happily ever after, while i need to think a million times over to landing my aim on someone, cos there's a high price to pay. But I can't exactly say I'm that envious of people who are free to love and end up changing their special someone on a monthly or yearly basis... sometimes even weekly basis.
So which is better?
I'll opt for forbidden love. Like I always answer my friends when they ask me why i finish up all the vegetables, soups and wad's not before the chicken chop, "Save the best for the last". At least, somehow I hope that there's another person who also made the same choice, and someday we'll meet. Beats having luxurious cup noodles everyday. But that's my opinion. If you have to be one, which would you be?
I'm more of a victim of the former, so I know what it's like. Not intending to delve into my personal relationship stories, but it sometimes got me thinking about it, when i keep hearing stories from media/friends/etc about them having broke up with their bf/gf, or them into a new relationship again. The latter tends to have their cycle repeated again and again, until they are fortunately/unfortunately married, or they totally "give up" on relationships altogether when they are finally too old and ugly to fall in love at cup noodles speed.
Sometimes, I feel that it's so unfair that people can keep trying to find their happily ever after, while i need to think a million times over to landing my aim on someone, cos there's a high price to pay. But I can't exactly say I'm that envious of people who are free to love and end up changing their special someone on a monthly or yearly basis... sometimes even weekly basis.
So which is better?
I'll opt for forbidden love. Like I always answer my friends when they ask me why i finish up all the vegetables, soups and wad's not before the chicken chop, "Save the best for the last". At least, somehow I hope that there's another person who also made the same choice, and someday we'll meet. Beats having luxurious cup noodles everyday. But that's my opinion. If you have to be one, which would you be?
Monday, October 19, 2009
I'm unusually inspired for the past 2 days, esp after watching one of the advertisements that someone posted on facebook.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8Qd7qeSd0Y
I probably watched this ad at least 20 times over since last night. Story's about the a deaf girl learning violin, and was looked down upon by her rich, snob peer. The piece played throughout the ad was Canon in D. Loved the part when the deaf street basker, her soulmate who earns a living via playing violin, gave her the advice: "Why do you have to be like the others? Music is a visible thing. Close your eyes and you'll see it." The last half of the ad was abit more dramatic, with her playing the violin, recalling all the hardships she went through, the breeze across a field of gold and... most commented, her hair flying all around her face. On the thought of it now, it's actually kinda funny, but I see it as an abstraction of the state of euphoria induced by music. Of cos, it all ended with a somewhat anti-climate "Pantene - You can shine too", though i'm thankful the wording was only for 3 seconds, and it doesn't feel like it's an ad very related to shampoo.
These days, I've been trying to get back to songwriting but somehow, no words would come out. If I try to force it out, it sounds kinda unsincere and awkward with the phrasing. I don't even get alot of melodies in my mind these days either. I still remember I used to be predominantly depressed many years back, but that was also when I got so much inspirations. Somewhere along the line, I wanna try to be more optimistic/happier, like everyone else, and that's when I stop to "feel" so much, that I guess I could say I'm now somewhat numb already. It's as if I've lost a painful part of myself, which actually I treasure. Something like addicted to pain. I dunno. Kinda hard to put into words.
Maybe will read back into some of my private blog entries and see if I can find some inspirations from past happenings. Or perhaps someone could gimme a pleasant surprise...?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8Qd7qeSd0Y
I probably watched this ad at least 20 times over since last night. Story's about the a deaf girl learning violin, and was looked down upon by her rich, snob peer. The piece played throughout the ad was Canon in D. Loved the part when the deaf street basker, her soulmate who earns a living via playing violin, gave her the advice: "Why do you have to be like the others? Music is a visible thing. Close your eyes and you'll see it." The last half of the ad was abit more dramatic, with her playing the violin, recalling all the hardships she went through, the breeze across a field of gold and... most commented, her hair flying all around her face. On the thought of it now, it's actually kinda funny, but I see it as an abstraction of the state of euphoria induced by music. Of cos, it all ended with a somewhat anti-climate "Pantene - You can shine too", though i'm thankful the wording was only for 3 seconds, and it doesn't feel like it's an ad very related to shampoo.
These days, I've been trying to get back to songwriting but somehow, no words would come out. If I try to force it out, it sounds kinda unsincere and awkward with the phrasing. I don't even get alot of melodies in my mind these days either. I still remember I used to be predominantly depressed many years back, but that was also when I got so much inspirations. Somewhere along the line, I wanna try to be more optimistic/happier, like everyone else, and that's when I stop to "feel" so much, that I guess I could say I'm now somewhat numb already. It's as if I've lost a painful part of myself, which actually I treasure. Something like addicted to pain. I dunno. Kinda hard to put into words.
Maybe will read back into some of my private blog entries and see if I can find some inspirations from past happenings. Or perhaps someone could gimme a pleasant surprise...?
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Obligations
In the business world, there are alot of obligations: The economical obligations to stakeholders, the legal obligations to the local law, the social obligations to the customers, etc. Some are written black and white. Some are communicated verbally. And there are others that are intrinsic.
The latter is the one that's the most dangerous everyday social relationships. In courtship, people carries expectation for each other, expecting their partners to be absolutely faithful, binding and be able to understand them and be understanding and caring to each other. The slightest incident, or even just one party having a bad day could juz ruin a relationship, juz because the other party didn't feel cared, felt betrayed, etc. In family, parents have high expectations for their kids, sometimes it's for themselves, and other times it's for them or the whole family. Kids by nature already carry with them a burden they do not have an option to let go, unless they denounce their family. As for amongst friends, we form expectations of each other, like "A good friend is someone who is there for me whenever I need them, and will go through hot and cold together". But when their friend/s are weighed by their own burdens that they cannot fulfill these expectations, they'll see people in a different light.
Quite some time ago, one of my poly days friend kept in touch with me. Of the stuffs we spoke about, she recalled that I had a good friend during poly days. Strangely, I couldn't recall that, other than the fact that I've been mostly a loner before coming into university. She said that there's this other guy name KC, who hanged out with me most of the time. Then I remembered. He was someone whom I really trust alot. He was a gd friend, who would meet me up in sch whenever I'm free. Then, I couldn't remember was it during 2nd year or the final year, everyone was rushing projects. There was one of the evening in sch when I was really frustrated with all the hectic rushing of projects through several nights, project group meetups, missing members and whatever that was happening at home at that point of time. He asked me for help one week before one of the project datelines, when i haven't even completed mine too. He asked that when I've just finished my project meeting and it was like 7pm in the sch lab already. He sounded damn desperate at that point of time. But it didn't got into me, cos i was overwhelmed with my own problems. I rejected to help him. I felt I need a break, and I also admit to being abit selfish that I had this thought: "Why should I help you to score, when it's not like after that anyone or even you could help me with my own projects? I'm just as desperate as you!". It was a mistake. Since after that day, he didn't initiate to meet me up. When we meet each other along the common corridor, he would say hi, but he wouldn't even talk more already. The look in his eyes was totally different, like as if i've become another passerby along the streets, rather than that of a friend. And I never did explain myself to him. Till this day, there are times when I felt that I could have averted that had I just helped him. But it's just not fair... I had my burdens too at that point of time, and I'm supposed to lose this friend just cos' I'm at my capacity already! After all the final year project submissions, I only remembered managing to find an abandoned stairway to cry. Over the lost of a friend. Over the likelihood of failing my FYPs. Over not being able to withstand more stress than I can. It rained in the later afternoon that day, and i had abit of a drink too.
The reason why I'm blogging about this topic is because I sensed I'm about to lose yet another friend this way, but this time with her putting too expectations on me, just because I'm capable of, just as my ex-buddy during poly days. Scenarios are abit different now though. Even though strictly speaking she's not my buddy as comparable to my ex-buddy, but i never like having enemies or having bad bloods with people. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if it's really because she treats me as someone trustworthy, that she keeps asking me for help, or that I'm just a very reliable "tool". And truth is, I'm absolutely tired of everyone, friends and family putting their burdens onto me, just because they got no one else they can depend on. Expectations became obligations, and when i don't give them what they want, or fail to do it well, I'll take the blame. What am I? Batman, who has to face angry citizens even after saving Gotham City, filled with self-serving citizens? I am VERY angry now. What the hell am I supposed to do?
The latter is the one that's the most dangerous everyday social relationships. In courtship, people carries expectation for each other, expecting their partners to be absolutely faithful, binding and be able to understand them and be understanding and caring to each other. The slightest incident, or even just one party having a bad day could juz ruin a relationship, juz because the other party didn't feel cared, felt betrayed, etc. In family, parents have high expectations for their kids, sometimes it's for themselves, and other times it's for them or the whole family. Kids by nature already carry with them a burden they do not have an option to let go, unless they denounce their family. As for amongst friends, we form expectations of each other, like "A good friend is someone who is there for me whenever I need them, and will go through hot and cold together". But when their friend/s are weighed by their own burdens that they cannot fulfill these expectations, they'll see people in a different light.
Quite some time ago, one of my poly days friend kept in touch with me. Of the stuffs we spoke about, she recalled that I had a good friend during poly days. Strangely, I couldn't recall that, other than the fact that I've been mostly a loner before coming into university. She said that there's this other guy name KC, who hanged out with me most of the time. Then I remembered. He was someone whom I really trust alot. He was a gd friend, who would meet me up in sch whenever I'm free. Then, I couldn't remember was it during 2nd year or the final year, everyone was rushing projects. There was one of the evening in sch when I was really frustrated with all the hectic rushing of projects through several nights, project group meetups, missing members and whatever that was happening at home at that point of time. He asked me for help one week before one of the project datelines, when i haven't even completed mine too. He asked that when I've just finished my project meeting and it was like 7pm in the sch lab already. He sounded damn desperate at that point of time. But it didn't got into me, cos i was overwhelmed with my own problems. I rejected to help him. I felt I need a break, and I also admit to being abit selfish that I had this thought: "Why should I help you to score, when it's not like after that anyone or even you could help me with my own projects? I'm just as desperate as you!". It was a mistake. Since after that day, he didn't initiate to meet me up. When we meet each other along the common corridor, he would say hi, but he wouldn't even talk more already. The look in his eyes was totally different, like as if i've become another passerby along the streets, rather than that of a friend. And I never did explain myself to him. Till this day, there are times when I felt that I could have averted that had I just helped him. But it's just not fair... I had my burdens too at that point of time, and I'm supposed to lose this friend just cos' I'm at my capacity already! After all the final year project submissions, I only remembered managing to find an abandoned stairway to cry. Over the lost of a friend. Over the likelihood of failing my FYPs. Over not being able to withstand more stress than I can. It rained in the later afternoon that day, and i had abit of a drink too.
The reason why I'm blogging about this topic is because I sensed I'm about to lose yet another friend this way, but this time with her putting too expectations on me, just because I'm capable of, just as my ex-buddy during poly days. Scenarios are abit different now though. Even though strictly speaking she's not my buddy as comparable to my ex-buddy, but i never like having enemies or having bad bloods with people. Sometimes, I can't help but wonder if it's really because she treats me as someone trustworthy, that she keeps asking me for help, or that I'm just a very reliable "tool". And truth is, I'm absolutely tired of everyone, friends and family putting their burdens onto me, just because they got no one else they can depend on. Expectations became obligations, and when i don't give them what they want, or fail to do it well, I'll take the blame. What am I? Batman, who has to face angry citizens even after saving Gotham City, filled with self-serving citizens? I am VERY angry now. What the hell am I supposed to do?
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Burden of Proof
It is easy to be a bad guy, by simply not attempting to explain myself anymore and walking away. I'm tired of having to always bear the burden of proof... to prove myself innocent, or reason for what I do. Even more tired is when the reasons for my act are not meant for the ears, or that exposing them could result in much greater trouble.
My mood hasn't been quite right for the past 1 week plus. Probably being emotionally tired about being obliged to duties in my club, expecting stress since i'm also taking a law subject this year, as well as family commitment which there is no way I can speak to any third party about. All these are wearing me down at the same time.
Club-wise, as I mentioned before, I think I'm pushed it abit too much that now the other exco clubmates are taking much of my duties, albeit with seemingly less trust in me now. To be honest, I'm not actually doing alot anymore, esp since after the most recent club event finally started and on the run already. But I'm still trying to push any little duties away just because I'm sick of it. Either that, or I took it very reluctantly.
Family-wise, i never have a family that really listen to me. They usually just want an ear, and want me to understand them and do their biddings, and usually I would end up starting a quarrel which end up me doing their biddings anyway, just because they got no one better to depend on. I don't have a choice. I'm an only child. And who said that an only child is spoilt? Of late, they got me to commit into something that I could not choose to refuse, and it's time consuming cos it'll easily take 3 - 4 hrs every night. And no, I'm not to tell anyone what's that. Am I supposed to tell that to a bunch of clubmates excos, who strictly speaking, we're not on the term yet to even start talking about heart-to-heart very personal stuffs? I'm not obliged to reveal my family problems to them, although they are not obliged to take my explanation.
So what happen this time? I think I'll just stop explaining for myself... at least in front of anyone. I'll keep my rantings to my blog. Let me be the bad guy. Not like telling the truth and exposing other people's secret actually makes me a good person anyway.
Enough about me.
I read a news earlier on about this NUS guy who ejaculated on a PRC lady. Already posted my comments and analysis there, under the alias Q-Square:
http://temasekreview.com/2009/09/24/top-nus-grad-chong-weien-jailed-for-ejaculating-onto-china-national/comment-page-1/#comment-29009
Here's the court statement: http://lwb.lawnet.com.sg/legal/lgl/rss/subcourts/63869.html
I personally thought there are still doubtful points in the circumstance evidences and victim's statement. But actually just looking at the brainless comments people make, most ppl are all too keen to place the burden of proof upon those with past record. People don't even read up the court statements, and too keen to give negative comments. What the society currently is, is no different from the era of time when people burn Joan of Arc on the stake. I digressed a wee too far, but I don't meant to say the judge is being completely irrational, given that most of the environmental evidences are infavorable to the accused, although not exceedingly. I'm just commenting about the people who made brainless comments.
I hope I really could get a respite from all these turmoils in my life soon, although being alive for 24 years taught me otherwise...
My mood hasn't been quite right for the past 1 week plus. Probably being emotionally tired about being obliged to duties in my club, expecting stress since i'm also taking a law subject this year, as well as family commitment which there is no way I can speak to any third party about. All these are wearing me down at the same time.
Club-wise, as I mentioned before, I think I'm pushed it abit too much that now the other exco clubmates are taking much of my duties, albeit with seemingly less trust in me now. To be honest, I'm not actually doing alot anymore, esp since after the most recent club event finally started and on the run already. But I'm still trying to push any little duties away just because I'm sick of it. Either that, or I took it very reluctantly.
Family-wise, i never have a family that really listen to me. They usually just want an ear, and want me to understand them and do their biddings, and usually I would end up starting a quarrel which end up me doing their biddings anyway, just because they got no one better to depend on. I don't have a choice. I'm an only child. And who said that an only child is spoilt? Of late, they got me to commit into something that I could not choose to refuse, and it's time consuming cos it'll easily take 3 - 4 hrs every night. And no, I'm not to tell anyone what's that. Am I supposed to tell that to a bunch of clubmates excos, who strictly speaking, we're not on the term yet to even start talking about heart-to-heart very personal stuffs? I'm not obliged to reveal my family problems to them, although they are not obliged to take my explanation.
So what happen this time? I think I'll just stop explaining for myself... at least in front of anyone. I'll keep my rantings to my blog. Let me be the bad guy. Not like telling the truth and exposing other people's secret actually makes me a good person anyway.
Enough about me.
I read a news earlier on about this NUS guy who ejaculated on a PRC lady. Already posted my comments and analysis there, under the alias Q-Square:
http://temasekreview.com/2009/09/24/top-nus-grad-chong-weien-jailed-for-ejaculating-onto-china-national/comment-page-1/#comment-29009
Here's the court statement: http://lwb.lawnet.com.sg/legal/lgl/rss/subcourts/63869.html
I personally thought there are still doubtful points in the circumstance evidences and victim's statement. But actually just looking at the brainless comments people make, most ppl are all too keen to place the burden of proof upon those with past record. People don't even read up the court statements, and too keen to give negative comments. What the society currently is, is no different from the era of time when people burn Joan of Arc on the stake. I digressed a wee too far, but I don't meant to say the judge is being completely irrational, given that most of the environmental evidences are infavorable to the accused, although not exceedingly. I'm just commenting about the people who made brainless comments.
I hope I really could get a respite from all these turmoils in my life soon, although being alive for 24 years taught me otherwise...
Monday, September 21, 2009
Inspirations for new songs?
It's like... 6.51am in the morning, and I'm still awake since last night. I guess my biological clock was ruined since I've been having this cycle previously as a result of home commitments and club commitments. Sometimes, life don't give you a break, but I try not to break anyone else as a result of my own commitments. I think I'm pushing it abit too much when I'm making things difficult for some people by fussing about the amount of workload I have. But I can't help to worry that if things continue the way it is now, I wouldn't be able to cope with my studies... Not to mention I might not even be able to pay up for my third year studies... Need to earn as much as I can to offset the amount of financial support my parents need to give me...
My mom just woke up. Glad she finally slept well last night. And suddenly, she's in the mood for morning walk in the hillpark behind my house. Thought I'll accompany her so it's safer. So should be leaving home anytime now. Will be back for... sleep, after the walk. I'm in the mood to take a walk too. There's alot of things on my mind, but I think a morning walk is a good source of inspiration for songwriting. Haven't wrote a single piece in years. Maybe too much braincells died after exams, insomnia, army and the process of "growing up", that tunes no longer automatically appear in my mind anymore. My world has become so... disenchanted.
I've finished watching 仙剑奇侠传3 over a week ago. I seldom take note of the musics from Mainland China. Heard some good songs from there. This one touches me the most, since it reminds me of a past relationship many years ago that I have yet to completely let go off my mind:
郑中基 - 答应不爱你
My mom just woke up. Glad she finally slept well last night. And suddenly, she's in the mood for morning walk in the hillpark behind my house. Thought I'll accompany her so it's safer. So should be leaving home anytime now. Will be back for... sleep, after the walk. I'm in the mood to take a walk too. There's alot of things on my mind, but I think a morning walk is a good source of inspiration for songwriting. Haven't wrote a single piece in years. Maybe too much braincells died after exams, insomnia, army and the process of "growing up", that tunes no longer automatically appear in my mind anymore. My world has become so... disenchanted.
I've finished watching 仙剑奇侠传3 over a week ago. I seldom take note of the musics from Mainland China. Heard some good songs from there. This one touches me the most, since it reminds me of a past relationship many years ago that I have yet to completely let go off my mind:
郑中基 - 答应不爱你
明明爱很清晰 却又接受分离
我只剩失恋的权利
难过还来不及 爱早已融入呼吸
不存在的存在心底
虽然很努力 练习着忘记
我的心却还没答应可以放弃了你
真的对不起 答应了你不再爱你
我却还没答应我自己
明明爱很清晰 却要接受分离
我只剩失恋的权利
难过还来不及 就让爱融入空气
不存在的存在心底
说好要忘记 偏偏又想起
原来我的心还没有答应放弃了你
真的对不起 虽然曾经答应了你
我却还没答应我自己
却又如何真的不爱你
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Rantings
There's just too much commitments. Just can't breath. It's not helping when there are things which I can't say, or commitments which I don't get to let go off. Things are just... thrusted upon me, like i'm the only saint who can save the world.
7.03am. What kinda of person is awake through the night working at home? Just done with some commitment stuffs at home. I haven't slept since last night, and now i'm wide awake. Or maybe, i'm not even sure if i really have a fix sleeping time anymore. Actually, this has been my cycle for the past 1 week plus. Having a headache now. I surely don't mind a panadol overdose. To make things worse, my hp would ring juz when i'm going to fall asleep, only to be disturbed by trivia matters. Of course, I couldn't blame others since how many ppl actually slept at 7am in the morning and only awake at 6pm in the evening?
Mood: Bad.
Song in my mind at the moment: Elephant (Damien Rice)
Well this has got to die
I said, this has got to stop
This has got to lie down
With someone else on top
Well, you can keep me pinned
It's easier to tease
But you can't paint an elephant
Quite as good as she
And she may cry like a baby
And she may drive me Crazy
'Cause I am lately lonely
So why'd you have to lie?
I take it I'm your crutch
The pillow in your pillow case
Is easier to touch
And when you think you've sinned
Do you fall upon your knees?
Or d'you sit within your picture?
Do you still forget the breeze?
And she may rise, if I sing you down
And she may wisely cling to the ground
Cause I am lately, horny
So why would she take me thorny?
What's the point of this song? Or even singing?
You've already gone, why am I clinging?
Well I could throw it out, and I could live without
And I could do it all for you
I could be strong
Tell me if you want me to lie
'Cause this has got to die
I said, this has got to stop
This has got to lie down, down
With someone else on top
You can both keep me pinned
'Cause it's easier to tease
But you can't make me happy
Quite as good as me
Well you know that's a lie
7.03am. What kinda of person is awake through the night working at home? Just done with some commitment stuffs at home. I haven't slept since last night, and now i'm wide awake. Or maybe, i'm not even sure if i really have a fix sleeping time anymore. Actually, this has been my cycle for the past 1 week plus. Having a headache now. I surely don't mind a panadol overdose. To make things worse, my hp would ring juz when i'm going to fall asleep, only to be disturbed by trivia matters. Of course, I couldn't blame others since how many ppl actually slept at 7am in the morning and only awake at 6pm in the evening?
Mood: Bad.
Song in my mind at the moment: Elephant (Damien Rice)
Well this has got to die
I said, this has got to stop
This has got to lie down
With someone else on top
Well, you can keep me pinned
It's easier to tease
But you can't paint an elephant
Quite as good as she
And she may cry like a baby
And she may drive me Crazy
'Cause I am lately lonely
So why'd you have to lie?
I take it I'm your crutch
The pillow in your pillow case
Is easier to touch
And when you think you've sinned
Do you fall upon your knees?
Or d'you sit within your picture?
Do you still forget the breeze?
And she may rise, if I sing you down
And she may wisely cling to the ground
Cause I am lately, horny
So why would she take me thorny?
What's the point of this song? Or even singing?
You've already gone, why am I clinging?
Well I could throw it out, and I could live without
And I could do it all for you
I could be strong
Tell me if you want me to lie
'Cause this has got to die
I said, this has got to stop
This has got to lie down, down
With someone else on top
You can both keep me pinned
'Cause it's easier to tease
But you can't make me happy
Quite as good as me
Well you know that's a lie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
