This is absurd! Probably I'm saying this cos I'm particularly peeved at the fact that years of education under the UK education system (eg. O' levels), esp since I've just got back my prelim papers for my finals. Appears that the quality of argument and assessing the understanding of the students is secondary, compared to being capable of regurgitating what was studied. Probably cos I'm terrible at memorising, that I'm at a disadvantage.

Even more funny is these educators frequently talks about students who could understand the subjects are able to present the subjects in certain ways, like quoting the various arguments of theorists, to prove that we understand them. I could watch a kungfu film and imitate kungfu, but it doesn't means i really do know kungfu, or better still, how to really defend myself. I would have been able to understand the rationality of such approach, if the subjects involved are hard sciences, but soft science like psychology and business studies should be approached in such a way that the students understand the underlying rationality of theories, and hence able to apply or contest them, rather than mere regurgitation of theories and classical arguments.

I would have suggested that such old-British style of education be abolished, and perhaps take on a more American style of education, where the answer is not as important as the process. After all, in the real working world, the capability to recall knowledge is already being aided with the help of technology.

What technology cannot fully replace human, is the ability to analyse and perform decision making. One might argue that where problems encountered are structured and routine, one can compute an algorithm which would help tackle the problem, hence decision making. But in truth, someone MUST understand the problem 1st, and come up with plausible solutions to the problem, in order to program the computer to do it!

Those who keep trying and eventually succeed, will never understand the pain of those who keep trying and never succeed.

It is easy to say that efforts beget success. At least, those who succeeded can easily say that. And if a person really died trying, the best result he/she ever have at his funeral were words of praises for his determination.

Well, leave the flattery to the dead man. There's nothing that person can do when he's alive, even if he has the spirit.

Get a life. Not.

Wouldn't it be nice if we know what others think of ourselves?

When I stand from my others' perspective when I communicate with people, sometimes I get this feeling that people will think that I need to get a life. Stop worrying about too much things.

Easier said than done. This worrisome, perhaps overly pessimistic thinking is what that could at least get me to where I am today. Some people just need to not have a life, in order to even just merely stay afloat.

... There is no happily ever after at the point of no return. It is just the path of desperation.

Uber peeved. Can't stand simpleton parents who only knows how to nag for the sake of nagging.

Just applied for internship a few days ago and i'm shortlisted for the interview. I thought it's a good news. Mom's worried what if another better paying job comes along. She only knows that the pay sucks, then ask me if what I've applied got 前途. She asked that a few days ago as well. To her, the higher paying the job, the better, probably even if it means doing shit. It's probably her experience, since she's been stuck in a family business for at least two decades, not having to even worry about looking for a job. To me, pay is important, but one need to be more realistic.

In the 1st place, how do I know if a job has prospect for me, unless i've been there for at least a year or two?
2nd, how do i even get those high paying jobs if I've not even built up my skillsets and experience?
3rd, she do not understand anything about a career fit. Just because a particular job can make big money, doesn't means that everyone is suit for it. Else, everyone might as well go for Sales since a top salesperson makes pretty big money, even if he/she's only pri sch educated. Or better still, be an entrepreneur.

Her overprotectiveness makes it difficult for me to be independent. Things are most of the time planned out for me, in the way she thinks is good, based on her narrow perspective. When harm is done, I'm the one having to manage them. For example, I've never actually secured a job on my own, without her insisting that she'll get some of her clients to recommend me in. This is a problem, cos if i'm going to start learning how to find a job after i lost the last one at the age of 30ish, it'll be a crisis. It's also just as how i can't study well without a tutor, because tutors were hired to assist me before 1st day of primary sch.

If she's not wrong to be overprotective, then am I wrong in wanting to learn to be independent? Sometimes, I kinda envy Claire. Although living alone and having to be completely independent financially is tough, but at least life is somewhat more meaningful, cos everything is worked towards the direction one wants to head to. Also, if you could learn to be independent, it gives you courage to face whatever life has thrown at you, rather than not being able to do anything at all.

It's really not about winning or losing. It's just... why can't I just get things done right?

At the end of the day, i'm really not good at anything at all. Not even singing. Not even academics. Not even human relationships. Not even luck.

The least I could do is keep a smiling face and tell people I'm ok. It's really not ok. But... "I'm ok." Least I could do is not to be a wet blanket or make them feel obliged that they need to pamper me with consolation.

It would be nice, if we could just say what we really want to say for once, without having to worry about negative judgments. It would be nice, if I could say "i like you".

But i guess i have to make do with contenting with assuming that this is a beautiful misunderstanding on my part.