Friday, January 22, 2010

Aloof

Has been abt 3 weeks since I last blog. A good number of miscellaneous things happened and it has been in the passing. Nothing really worth particular mention. Perhaps that's why it's rather depressing, actually. Somehow, the grass always looks greener on the other side; everyone else seems to be living more interesting lives than me.

These days, I've been thinking alot about myself. No. I'm not narcissistic. I'm just thinking about my image. As a singing club active member, we've been trained to be... shall i use the word "shameless"? Ironically, this "shameless" is achieved via sincerity, a desire to act as someone whom i really would want to be, even though the act may sucks. In school, there are some group of friends who know about me more than they need to, and mostly alot who doesn't really know me much. But whichever side it is, it seems that the social bridgings on both sides seems to be slowly eroding away. It's like friends have slowly become acquaintances, but not like through some sorta betrayal or fallout with each other. Everyone becomes some kinda familiar strangers. A good friend of mine quote an accurate word that aptly describes me (although he intended it for someone else).

"Aloof"

Sometimes, I wish that things between people are abit easier. I wish people could juz hold my hands and guide me what am I supposed to do to maintain all these. But I guess everyone learns it the hard way... trial and error. Some people are naturally lucky to be blessed with a silver tongue, while others are... inherently "aloof" but am trying to do something about it.

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010

Happy New Year, 2010.

There's this saying: At 1:11am/pm, if you're thinking of someone, someone would also be thinking of you.

I wasn't thinking of anyone. And haven't been able to think of someone at 1.11am/pm for years already.

I was angry, and went out for a walk for an hr plus. Fireworks and cheers and colorful lights when the new year transcends. But I'm juz a shadow under a rainbow bridge.

Who knows what face hide beneath the masquerade mask?